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Blind Dates

By Henry Velez

Blind dates. Wow.. now that's what I call life on the edge. I think I've gone on at least four official blind dates in my life and each one was.. well... an experience. (For those readers who may not be familiar with a "blind date" in your culture, essentially you go out to spend time with someone you've never met, usually on the recommendation of a friend. Sometimes you even remain their friend after the date is over.)

One thing you've got to do when faced with the blind date suggestion from your friends is first of all, "Don't believe anything they say." If they aren't stretching the truth a bit and the person really is 'just your type' then that's great and everybody's happy. But whatever you do, take anything they say with a pound of salt and, if you do decide to venture out on their suggestion, remember to keep it all simple and play nice.

All this Internet stuff has made blind dates even more frequent. Even though you can send photos via e-mail not everyone knows how to do this or has a scanned picture of themselves. I e-mailed for about a week with a young woman who didn't have a scanned picture to send, but we got along great over e-mail. Finally we decided to meet. She had seen my photo but I would only know her by the Levi jacket and 'Peace-symbol' earrings she'd be wearing. We met at a restaurant, hit it off great and stayed out in L.A. until the wee hours of the morning having a great time. We started dating regularly and became fond of one another. But romance didn't seem to be the plan for us so we went our separate ways while remaining good friends.

While chatting with some single guys on the Mirc chat lines I heard a story of a blind date that didn't go quite so well. This guy began to correspond every evening with a person on the chat lines over the Internet who said she was looking to meet a nice guy willing to just hang out and be friends. After a week or so of conversing they decided to meet at a local diner in a city nearby. The guy arrived early and no young lady seemed to be looking around for him. He waited and waited, but she didn't appear. Finally, a young man approached his table and said that he'd been the 'woman' conversing on the chat-line!

Every so often a friend comes up to you and says, "What are you doing Friday? I have this friend I just know you'll hit it off with." Yah. Okay, so it happens... sometimes. But I've found it's best to follow certain guidelines after what I've seen and experienced with the 'blind-date' scenario.

#1. Keep a grip on reality. This isn't the make or break evening it can get blown out of proportion to be. It's just an evening (or afternoon) to meet someone new and converse for awhile.

#2. If at all possible, bring your 'friend' along with you, several friends is even better, to do something as a group so there isn't this big pressure on the two of you to make conversation when you haven't even met before. This helps to take the stress factor down a bit when four or five of you go for dinner or a drive to the beach or something.

#3. Be prepared to be nice. Remember, this person is probably just as nervous and vulnerable as you are so make a point to be especially pleasant and considerate of their feelings.

#4. If you do meet a blind date alone, do something light the first time around. Maybe get together for an hour at a local coffee-house or some light lunch. That way if it's just unbearably uncomfortable for either of you it won't be for very long. If it turns out you really hit it off and like each other, you can always plan to do something else afterwards.

#5. If you are describing yourself to them over the phone, Internet, whatever.. be brief but honest about your basics like ethnicity, weight, age, etc. One thing you don't want to do on a first impression is prove that you can't be trusted to tell the truth about something as simple as your general appearance. You may take them by surprise if you tell them you are handsome, slim, rich, etcetera beyond your actual self. So just keep it simple, brief and honest. No need to go into excessive detail either.

#6. If you are a woman, suggest meeting in a public place during the afternoon with your own transportation. If you are a man, do not be presumptuous to think this person already trusts you enough to be picked up at their house by you. Take this trust thing a little bit at a time.

Those are the basics, most of the rest should just come naturally. I'd be interested in hearing of anyone who actually fell in love and stayed together from a 'blind date' experience. Myself I've yet to hear of it. It can be fun and really put some adventure into an otherwise quiet evening in front of the television on a Friday night. Just be prepared for anything, because in my four instances, only once was it truly a wonderful experience over-all. The other three times, well.. some stories are just best left untold.

Henry Velez / ~EnricoSuave
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